The music sounds like my soul:

each clap and tap and rhyme

mimicking the flow of the voices

in my heart, telling me to

join in the fun and leave

my worries behind;

to dance and sing;

to shine and be carried away

by the winds of change.

To change.

To enjoy the poems of the people I love,

and the beautiful personalities that

wrote them so tenderly.

To change. To listen to their voices,

the voices in my heart

telling me to leave my worries

behind and appreciate the

ever fleeting, awe-inspiring moments.


3 thoughts on “Moments

  1. A. You say “To change.” twice. If you wanted repetition you should add it a third time so that it seems purposeful. Right now it is redundant
    B. word the final few lines like this:
    “telling me to leave behind my worries
    and appreciate the ever fleeting
    awe-inspiring moments.”
    It flows better.
    C. Yeah thats it. Maybe strengthen your word choice a little, but that’s up to you. Not much to critique on this 🙂


  2. There is a little rhyme (mostly internal, some external), which is excellent in a poem about music, but I’d suggest rephrasing some things to add a little more. I’m not sure if the poem reference is the best; you’re talking about music and the shift interrupts the flow. To keep it, maybe throw in a tiny thing about poems being a sort of music? Or something like that? I love the repetition, you really are very good at it, and coming to end on the title word is done well (it isn’t always in poetry, so kudos to you).


  3. A. “mimicking”–> mimicks, instead?
    B. MOMENTS ❤
    C. i love the poeming reference
    D. I think if you made it longer it could be more impactful
    E. I don't want to bash on your moments
    F. not sure if voices makes sense, maybe feeling? or change heart to head? I dont know dude


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